![]() a certain facial expression they make when they’re happy.some type of hand gesture like politicians often use.an eyebrow flash (quick raise of the eyebrows).↑ Table of Contents ↑ Identify Their Punctuatorīecause you have been carefully paying attention to the person you’re mirroring the entire time, you will have noticed a favorite “punctuator” that the other person uses to make a point. Sprinkle it throughout your conversations like a little bit of cilantro on top of the main dish-and try to avoid overusing it. To mirror me, you can also say something like: For example, I love to use the word “fabulous.” It’s leaps and bounds better than “good” or “great,” and it also sparks joy when I use it. It might help if you think of each person’s voice like a song with its own unique lyrics and melody.Īnd since research shows that we prefer voices that sound like our own, try mimicking the pauses and flows of a person’s voice.Īlong with that, head on over to our vocal body language guide to master the nonverbals of vocals.Īnother neat trick you can do is to mimic a person’s word choice. It’s the pauses between your words and how the rhythm sounds. Vocal cadence is the way your voice flows. This? Or dO yOu SpEAk wiTH voCAL variETY? Murr ramps up the excitement, and the potential new roommate actually matches his pace and volume. Want to know a great example of pace and volume matching? Check out Murr from Impractical Jokers. Pace and volume matching is easy to do and much less obvious than physical mimicry. If they are soft, slow, and more relaxed, match them at this level instead. If they are a super fast talker and loud, increase your volume and animation. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Match Their Pace and Volume Start with mirroring the pace and volume of the other person’s speech. People who are in a groove will actually unconsciously mimic each other’s voices-this is called phonetic convergence. Many times, people think of mirroring as mimicking physical actions, but mirroring refers to all the nonverbals. Throughout all of this, a lot of mirroring is likely happening naturally on its own, but here are some mirroring techniques you can use now to build and amplify someone’s connection to you. However, from eye gaze to the way we sit and even how we dress, there are so many more mirroring cues to learn.įor a complete list of cues you might want to mirror, check out our body language guide. These are the main body language cues that I use to mirror. So when you nod, you build your own yes set and further strengthen the connection you are making. ![]() You say yes-even if only in your mind-and research shows once you start saying yes, the more likely it is you will continue to do so. And second, when you nod, you are basically agreeing with what the other person is saying, and this builds what scientists call a “yes set.”Ī yes set is like when a salesperson asks you a couple of simple questions, like Is it still June or It sure is warm today, isn’t it. First, research shows when you do the triple nod, the other person will speak 3 to 4 times longer, making them feel listened to and important 1. The triple nod does two important things. In other words, make sure to start with the basics first. ↑ Table of Contents ↑ Mirroring Nonverballyīefore you jump into mirroring, you should lay common rapport-building groundwork first. It is this hardwiring that you need to take advantage of to do mirroring the right way. So not only is mirroring hardwired in your brain, it is also rewarded! And not only that-urges to mirror others are hardwired in the brain because cooperation leads to more food, better health, and economic growth for communities 1. found that when someone mirrors your behavior, the areas of your brain that activate are the same ones that process rewards and make you feel good. This became the foundation for what are now called “mirror neurons.” ![]() Startled by this finding, the researchers tested and found they could repeatedly make the monkey’s brain think it was taking action just by watching the researchers. Quite by accident, when one of the researchers reached to grab his food, he noticed that the neurons in a nearby research monkey became active as if it were reaching for the food, even though in reality it was sitting idly by. Early in the 1990s, researchers at the University of Parma in Italy were doing work with macaque monkeys.
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